My husband has been talking to me about joining the Army. We have two children (1yr and 3 yrs old) and another on the way. He says that he wants to join because of us and wants to take us with him. I don't know what to say, I need more info on the base we will be in and how our lives will change. Google and Youtube didn't give me any results. Can a wife of a soldier tell me about this or maybe a Soldier. The only thing that comes to my mind is what if he doesn't make it back? Is there more than this that could make me support his decision? Is it dangerous. Somebody please help with advice.
Can anyone give me info on what the life of a wife and children of an active army soldier is like?
No one can say where you will be stationed. He won't even know until he gets close to getting out of AIT (his military job training).
With him having 4 dependents soon. You and the three kids he will need to get a waiver. The Army requires a waiver if the applicant has two or more dependents (in addition to the spouse).
I suggest doing lots of research on the http://www.goarmy.com/ and http://www.military.com/
There is a possibility he can die everyday (car accident, health issues, random violence). You need to be strong and be able to handle everything independently.
He might get an isolated tour to Korea right off the bat and not be able to get command sponsorship to bring you. Keep that in mind as well. He might get to a unit in process and catch up with them on deployment. He might not deploy for a year or so.
Keep in mind you have to be flexible. The military will come first.
There is lots of support.
To begin with he will have to talk to a recruiter, take the ASVAB and get through MEPS. If after doing the research and you both think it is the right thing to do then go with him when he talks to the recruiter.
Can anyone give me info on what the life of a wife and children of an active army soldier is like?
In addition to the great info you've received already, bear in mind that he has more than the allowed number of dependents, so he will have to apply for a waiver, and that involves proving to the Army that he can support all of you on his Private's salary. Be prepared to give extensive financial information, and show your income-to-debt ratio.
Also, there is a message forum at www.GoArmy.com which is excellent, and one section is even reserved just for spouses. I'd go there to get more accurate information from others in your position.
Good luck to all of you!
EDIT: Jeez Louise...if I'd read lconnor's post more closely I'd have known that I just regurgitated some of the same info he already gave you, rofl!
It can be dangerous of course. Depends on what job he is planning on doing.
The big thing is going to be how long he'll be away from you guys. If he gets deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan, Korea, he won't be around for at least a year. That's a long time.
The Army will spoil you as a family when it comes to things like insurance, housing, moving from place to place. They take care of everything.
Base pay is low but the benefits are huge.
If he were to get killed SGLI pays the family a lot of money. Not near enough to replace your husband but you would be ok financially and your childrens college would be paid for.
It's a tough lifestyle for a family especially during war time.
They take care of a lot of things for you and the benfits are awesome but they take a lot away from you as far as time with your husband being OCONUS.
When he isn't deployed and you guys are together though, it's the best job in the universe.
One word: Tough.
Life as an Army wife is tough. We don't have any children and it can be hard. However, some of the wives who have children swear it is easier with kids because they take your mind off the loneliness. Currently my hubby is away at NTC (a month long training mission simulating the desert) and it has been hard. I realize just how lonely it will be when he is deployed. I am actually moving back to my home state to be around my family support system.
Your life will change, some for the better some may seem worse. You will ALWAYS be taken care of by the Army. You will have health care, a hospital, PX (kind of like a mini-mall), commissary (grocery), Post Office, bank... post life has nearly everything any town has with one difference, it is all Army. Everyone is in the same boat as you, their husbands are away, they worry, they feel the same feelings. They understand you. You will have a support system within the Family Readiness Group (FRG) and your husbands unit (squad/platoon level). When he is deployed, yes it is hard but you will make it.
You can't think about the %26quot;what ifs.%26quot; Being in the Army can be dangerous, but it is a great thing he wants to do. I have received one of those ominous phone calls, it informed me that he had been injured in Iraq (during his last tour), yes it was hard but he lived and he is fine. Just do things to keep yourself busy.
Life as an Army wife can be fun. You get to see the country or possibly the world. You meet people from all walks of life and corners of the US. Some you stay in contact with for a long time, some only while at your post, either way they are all there for you.
Your husband wants to do a good thing. Although it may be hard to accept at the moment it may be just what he is looking for as a way to serve his country and take care of his family. There is always the option to get out after he serves his time if the Army life doesn't suit your family.
Good Luck!
